Around 140 of our clergy attended a ‘Taking Funerals Seriously’ road show this week, to learn how recent research can help churches refresh their funeral ministry by understanding contemporary attitudes.
Recognising that key transition moments such as birth, marriage and death often lead people to think deeply about life, the Church of England wants to help churches be the place that people turn to at such times by improving our communication, our hospitality and our understanding of contemporary culture.
The day in Leeds was led by Canon Sandra Miller (right). She said, "One third of all deaths are marked by the C of E; we conduct 3,300 funerals per week – half in churches, half in crematoria. Through weddings, baptisms and funerals, the Church is in contact with an additional 500,000 people. If this was a marketing operation, we’d be ecstatic with such a figure”.
She pointed out current cultural changes such as:
The gap between the death and the funeral getting longer - creating an even greater pastoral need.
Fewer than half of the population know that anyone can have a Church of England funeral – making that more widely known is crucial.
Lack of knowledge of the Church – many don’t know how flexible a funeral service is; there is little in the liturgy that is obligatory.
The key challenges from the research are:
Funerals should be individual and family-focused.
Flexibility – particularly in relation to the content of a funeral service. Many don’t know any hymns or poetry, so the lyrics of contemporary songs are their way of expressing their feelings. ("We need to remember that we’re not the arbiters of taste for the nation!")
Establishing good relationships with funeral directors – such as answering calls swiftly and working with them on their questions, eg instead of asking ‘were they religious?’, asking ‘would you like a hymn and a prayer?’ leads many to acknowledge that they would in fact like some spiritual content to the funeral.
Sandra says, “Despite the increased competition in the delivery of funeral services, our distinctiveness is that we can offer the mindfulness of the presence of God in the situation and hold the person’s story in the bigger story of God’s love in Jesus Christ. The presence of Jesus transforms funerals from hopelessness to hopefulness.”
She added, “Even though people’s appearance at church for a life event may seem to be a one-off, it may be a significant a link in the chain of faith for them, an intrinsic part of their journey, particularly if they’ve had a good experience.” And she quoted Archbishop Justin Welby who said, “The Church of England is the church for England. It’s such an extraordinary privilege to be with people at the end of their lives. It’s not about taking opportunities: the key thing is loving and serving the communities we’re in”.
The Revd Andrew Tawn said: “It was really good to put ourselves in the shoes of a funeral director and appreciate why they can sometimes find clergy frustrating, like when we’re slow in replying to their messages. The day enthused us all to up our game and re-engage with such an important part of our ministry – before we lose out to others in what is an increasingly competitive market.”
The Revd Heston Groenewald said, “I appreciated all the tips, reminders and helpful websites and resources, but what will stay with me longest is the reminder to 'make sure that Jesus is present at every funeral'.
The Revd Gary Hodgson says, “It was an excellent opportunity to help us re-examine our approach to funeral ministry. Examples of excellent practice I’d never thought of and tailored resources to help equip us created genuine opportunities to refresh funeral ministry within the time constraints we all experience”.
RESOURCES
GraveTalk
A resource to help people start thinking and talking about death, dying and funerals. It has 50 unique cards for use in small groups, each with a thought-provoking question to get the conversation started. Sandra encouraged clergy to be confident in offering this to the wider community as the evidence is that it’s something a surprising number of people want to discuss. https://churchofenglandfunerals.org/gravetalk/
Websites
For the public:
churchofenglandfunerals.org - raises awareness of the choices available for those organising or attending a funeral and how the church is there for them every step of the way.
For clergy:
Churchsupporthub.org
Churchprinthub.org - – prayer cards and information leaflets.
Pastoralservicesdiary.org