If there is one lesson that the Revd Mary Railton Crowder has learned during her time as a parish priest, then it is the importance of community and taking the time to learn the things that matter to that community.
Like the proper way to eat Yorkshire pudding, she says – which might be a tad tongue in cheek, but as a Scouser, she had no idea it was eaten as a first course and on its own! And like learning what a ‘window bottom’ was and getting used to the fact that in Yorkshire teacakes don’t always have currants in them.
But joking apart - Mary a former nurse and midwife, who served her curacy at Elstow Abbey in Bedford before becoming the first woman priest in the Diocese of Sodor and Man, has enjoyed her time on this side of the Pennines. She and her husband, Graham, and their children and grandchildren were warmly welcomed by the communities of St Philips, Birchencliffe and St Cuthberts, Birkby in Huddersfield when they arrived here in 2007.
She said: “Both parishes had been in interregnum for some time and they had just been brought together, so this was a whole new world for them. From the start I was touched by how solid both communities were, and such a mix – multi racial, multi cultural - but yet both had strong identities and sense of self.”
Although they maintain their separate identities the parishes have grown closer together over recent years as friendships have developed. There have been a joint outings and holidays to the Isle of Man and Whitby. And a few weeks ago their first joint fundraising event, an Everly Brothers Tribute concert was a great success.
Although close together geographically, the churches and the parishes they serve are different in many ways. St Philip’s is very much a family church with three generations of some families living in the parish and attending church. St Cuthbert’s serves a multi-cultural, multi-faith community and provides worship in both English and Urdu languages. Mary has enjoyed the opportunity to share in bi-lingual funeral and baptisms with Urdu speaking colleagues. The Peace is said in both English and Urdu at all services.
Music is at the heart of who Mary is and central to her ministry. She has sung with a number of choirs during her time in Huddersfield including Handy Voices, a singing and signing choir. Unexpected musical highlights of Mary’s time in Huddersfield have been singing on stage with the Bachelors at a St Philip’s fundraiser and, as part of Handy Voices signing as Merrill Osmond sang ‘White Christmas’ at St Cuthberts. Finding a new choir back on her home turf on the Wirral is one of her first priorities when she retires. That, and sleep!
Mary has enjoyed being part of St Philip’s annual pantomime. She believes that the pantomime is a wonderful way of uniting the church and the community. Anyone who has been a part of that annual whirlwind - or sat in the audience of the regular February half term pantomimes - will recognize this. The annual panto service has become a much anticipated part of the parish calendar as they all gather together to give thanks for God's gifts of music, drama and laughter.
There have been challenges. Both churches have had significant building projects while Mary has been Vicar. When she arrived plans for building a new Community Centre after the old parish hall had been destroyed in an arson attack were well underway. The new Centre, which was dedicated by Bishop Stephen in November 2008, now provides a meeting place for many community groups and is the venue for most of St Philips fundraising and social events.
Just as St Philip’s opened their new Community Centre the future of St Cuthbert’s Church building came under serious threat with the discovery of wet rot in the main roof supports. With closure a real possibility, the determined congregation worked hard and with good advice, generous support and great faith they raised £400,000 to fund a massive restoration project which saved their church building. As there is no church hall at St Cuthberts so it is the church itself that is used a meeting place for community groups.
Mary says that she feels very privileged to have been called to serve two such faithful congregations who have risen to such significant challenges.
Woven through all this - and central to it
, is Graham, Mary’s husband. Graham, a retired Primary School teacher, has been a Reader since 1993. He has held parish and diocesan roles in three different dioceses whilst accompanying Mary on her priestly journey. He is a tutor and lectures on the Reader Training Scheme and has been the Bishop’s Faculty Officer (to both Bishop Stephen and Bishop Nick) for four years. Leaving will be as big a wrench for Graham as it is for Mary.
Retirement for Mary won’t come easy. She is a doer. As well as parish life, Mary will miss her involvement in Scouting in Huddersfield. She has been scouting since she was 16 years old and is currently Chaplain to Huddersfield North District. Graham is Group Scout Leader at Birchencliffe and in 2014 they both accompanied 35 scouts and 12 other leaders on ‘Czech Trek’, an expedition to the Czech Republic.
Mary has faced some testing times in her ordained life. She says “Being the first and for a while only woman priest in a diocese was certainly a privilege but it was not without hurt. But it is in such difficult times that you come to fully appreciate the love, support and encouragement of good and godly people.”
Mary has learned that ministry is sacrificial, that it chips away at you. “I know now that working till one o’clock in the morning was not sensible even though at the time it was necessary, because all it does, is make you really tired. In hindsight, I do wish I'd slept a bit more and worried a lot less – but in every parish there’s always so much to do, funerals to plan, sermons to write and an ever increasing pile of admin. You can’t let any of that get it the way of your pastoral ministry. An important part of being a parish priest is being there for people at their time of need. It’s what we do.”
“So once I’ve caught up on my sleep, found a church, found a choir, said yes more times than no to my children, I would really like to explore the possibility of getting involved in clergy support,” she said.
This issue is very close to Mary’s heart – as the former Area Dean of Huddersfield, she is well aware of the pressures on clergy and their families. She has greatly valued the support of parish and deanery colleagues and is pleased that a small group of Huddersfield now to meet together for prayer and mutual support. But she says that it is far too easy to let busyness of parish life get in the way of caring for yourself.
“We need to encourage our lay and ordained colleagues and celebrate more of what we are doing because there are some amazing things happening in all our parishes.
“I shall miss being part of the spiritual and social life of our two communities. And I shall miss the baptisms, weddings and funerals that have brought me into close contact with people at significant moments of their lives. It doesn’t matter whether they come to church or not, it is their parish – and this is what the Church of England is all about. We are here to serve them in God’s name and to reflect his unconditional love”.
“At the heart of parish ministry is the joy of everyday encounters with ordinary people – in their homes, in the street or in hospitals. Everyone has a story to tell. A story of life and very often a story of faith and it is humbling when they trust you enough to share it all with you.” she added.
“Whoever God calls to be their next Vicar will be well blessed. If I was looking for a new post, I would jump at it, no question!” she said.
Mary and Graham will leave Huddersfield on 7th June. Farewell services are planned for Sunday 22 May at St Philips Birchencliffe at 3pm followed by refreshments in the Church Community Centre and Sunday 29 May at St Cuthbert's Birkby at 11am followed by refreshments in Church.